Michael Garland Elliott has won 2017 — and he did so posthumously.
In an obituary published in The Oregonian/OregonLive, Michael Elliot’s last conversation was a bit of a white lie. He supposedly took his last breath right after his close friend, ex-wife Teresa Elliot, told him the president had been impeached.
“Though their marriage ran aground, their friendship only grew stronger and hers was the last voice Mike heard,” the obituary reads. “And the last thing she said to him was ‘Donald Trump has been impeached.’ Upon hearing that he took his final, gentle breath, his earthly work concluded.”
Teresa Elliot: You are a sly, brilliant human.
In addition to his political disinterests, the obituary depicted Elliott — who was apparently born in either 1940 or ‘41 — as the “sharpest dresser in town” and a man of many hobbies. He played on a semi-professional basketball team that involved him dressing in drag, and he apparently would often throw his golf clubs into trees out of frustration. When he could no longer play golf, due to his health, he “threw things at the TV instead.”
Michael Garland Elliott, we didn’t know you. But, damn, we wish we did.
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