4 Things That Might Be Easier Than Getting Donald Trump’s Tax Returns
April 15 is Tax Day, which means that unless you’re applying for an extension, time is up to file your taxes! According to Internal Revenue Service (IRS) data, over 100 million people had already filed by April 5 and there’s plenty more to come.
The day also brings with it a reminder for many: President Donald Trump’s tax returns still aren’t public, making him the first major-party candidate (or president) to go without releasing any tax information since President Richard Nixon’s tax info leaked during the Watergate scandal in the early ‘70s, prompting the practice disclosure, usually in the form of actual returns.
Trump has refused to make those disclosures, leading some to believe his tax returns could include some damaging information. Tiny tidbits of info have come out since the issue first arose, but the public still hasn’t seen much. Trump has claimed he wouldn’t release his returns because he was under IRS audit, though many have wondered for quite some time if his insistence on burying his returns could be an effort to hide something.
Those questions have been re-invigorated by the 2018 midterm elections, which resulted in a Democratic majority in the House of Representatives. House Democrats have been trying to circumvent Trump’s wishes by going straight to the IRS to get the returns, prompting White House press secretary Sarah Sanders to insult the intelligence of congresspeople.
It’s undoubtedly a quagmire and making Trumps’ tax returns still seems like a pipedream — and an especially time-consuming one given everything else that’s facing the nation and the world. In the interest of fairness and the spirit of interrogation, here are TK things that might actually be easier than getting Trump’s tax returns made public.
Climbing Mount Everest
The highest point above sea level in the world may seem like an impossible summit, but enough gumption — and money — can get you there.
According to The New York Times, getting to Everest’s 29,029-foot peak can be a deadly journey that costs $30,000 to $100,000. Nepal Sanctuary Treks, a company specializing in Himalayan trekking, says an entire expedition can take up to two months. As noted by The Conversation, physical fitness goes a long way.
It may sound daunting, but enough money, time, and training can make climbing Everest possible (as long as you’re okay with it potentially coming at the expense of local workers’ lives). Can the same be said of publicizing Trump’s tax returns?
Writing Shakespearian prose (for enough monkeys with enough typewriters)
There’s an old saying — sometimes referred to as the Infinite Monkey Theorem — that goes something like this: An infinite amount of monkeys with an infinite amount of typewriters and an infinite amount of time would eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. The idea is that while the man himself didn’t need an eternity to produce his enduring life’s work, a bunch of primates randomly pressing keys for eternity could eventually theoretically do it.
While it’s maybe supposed to be an inspiring message about how anything is possible, the real beauty of the Infinite Monkey Theorem is that all that needs to be done is getting all the monkeys and the typewriters in the same place; then, it’s just a matter of playing the waiting game. I’m willing to bet it might be easier to wrangle all those monkeys and keep their typewriter keys from jamming than it has been to get the president to be transparent about his tax history.
Finding the Holy Grail
According to the British Library, this legendary cup was at Jesus Christ’s last supper and was a central part of medieval mythology, keeping King Arthur’s knights busy for quite some time as they searched for it. While Arthur’s knights have become mythic figures (and not always flatteringly so), who’s to say the Grail, even with all its cultural mythos, might not be out there waiting for someone to find it?